HPAVC/HPAVC CD-ROM.iso/ATRAL.ZIP/AP_07.TXT

Text File | 1995-05-24 | 28KB | 486 lines

AP_07.TXT
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FILE 7 of 15 - CompuServe Astral Projection Class by Don DeGracia, 1994
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                    Astral Projection Class on CompuServe

                        by Don DeGracia:  72662,1335

                              Copyright 1994
                           None of this material
                          may be reproduced without
                          explicit permission from
                                the author.



1. IN THE OOBE REALM - PART 1

     We have discussed the theory of astral projection.  We have
discussed methods and techniques for achieving this altered state
of consciousness.  Now we are going to discuss what it is like in the
realm where the OOBE occurs.   To some extent we have touched on
the nature of the OOBE realm throughout these notes.  We have, for
example discussed the occult notions of the planes and the subplanes.
I have also presented some of my astral projection journal entries
and these give an idea of what it is actually like in the OOBE realm.

     What we will do in this section is go into much more depth
about the various aspects of actually being in the OOBE state.
My description of this state will encompass two broad angles.
On one hand I will take a kind of "travel brochure" approach to
describing the places and inhabitants one encounters during an
OOBE.  This is the approach one will find in many books about the
astral plane (for example, see Leadbeater's "The Astral Plane"
listed in the bibliography).  Such a "travel brochure" approach
describes the astral plane much as if it's a foreign land filled
with exotic sights, scenes and inhabitants.  On the other hand, I
also want to try to convey some sense of what it is *really* like
when you are out of your body.  One of the problems with the "travel
brochure" approach to describing the OOBE realm is that it
creates the misleading impression that you have simply just
"gone somewhere".   That is, "travel brochure" type descriptions
of the astral plane make it sound like you just get in your car and
drive there and see the sights, as if it's Disneyland or something.
However, when you are out of body, it is NOT like getting in your
car and driving somewhere new and seeing the sights.  You are
in a completely different state of consciousness - you are
no longer in the physical world - and this creates a million
subtle nuances in your awareness that make it much, much different
than how your awareness operates while you are here in the
physical plane.  What I would like to do then is try to convey
some of these differences in how your consciousness works when
you are in the OOBE realm.   So, overall, I will describe the OOBE
realm BOTH as a place you go to AND as a state of consciousness very
different than (but related to) your normal consciousness.


1.  Describing OOBEs with words

     Before I get too deep in describing the OOBE realm, something
has to be said about the limitations of using words to describe
experiences in the OOBE realm.  In general, our language is very
poor at describing astral plane experiences.  This is no surprise
given that we use language overwhelmingly to describe life here in
the physical plane.  However, experience is much different in the
OOBE state.  There are many things that can occur in the OOBE state
that our language has no words to describe. Obviously then, this
creates quite a problem when we want to write about or speak
about our astral projection experiences!  So what are we to do?

     First thing to do is realize that the problems with trying
to describe OOBEs in words is very similar to the problems we have
describing our dreams in words.   Very often strange things happen
to us in our dreams and we have a very hard time describing them.
For example, we have all had the experience in a dream of being, say,
in a house and walking from one part of the house to another but
all of a sudden finding ourself in the supermarket or some such thing!
We went to walk into the kitchen, but we find ourselves somewhere
completely different and no longer in the house! This has happened to
me a lot in my dreams and all of you can probably recall such
things happening in your own dreams.  The thing is, what do you
call it when this happens?  It's happened to all of us in a dream,
but we have no word for it!  Shall we say, "I *blipped* from the
house to the supermarket"?  Or, "I disappeared from the house but
suddenly appeared in the supermarket"? Robert Monroe would say
he "skipped" from the house to the supermarket.

Now, the point is, this is something that has happened to all of
us, yet we have no word to describe it.  And I picked this particular
example of "blipping" because you will find yourself "blipping"
quite a bit when you are in the OOBE realm.  But, what do we call
this? How do we describe it?

Basically, we are left with a real problem.  Our language has
no *consensus* terms to describe such experiences.  Thus, our
only solution is to make up a word to describe the experience.
This is why I use terms like "lockmold", "void" or "blinking
on and off" in my journal, because I am making up words to
describe experiences for which our language has no word, and
even more importantly, for which there is no counterpart
in our physical experience.

What all this means is that you really have to be careful when
reading about people's experiences in the OOBE realm.  If you
try to interpret these experiences in terms of physical experience
or in terms of our normal everyday language, you will get a very
INACCURATE picture of what is going on.  You also have to be a
careful reader when reading of the OOBE realm.  You have to
really use your imagination and attempt to understand what
stange words like "ring" or "lockmold" could mean, and why the
author is describing his/her experience in that fashion.   Finally,
you have to be open to the fact that anything is possible in the OOBE
realm. So many strage things can occur there that are completly
different than what we know here in physical life, that you just
have to keep a very open mind.



2.  The State Of Your Mind In The OOBE State

        So, not only does our language create a barrier to under-
standing the nature of the OOBE realm, but we are faced with a second
major obstacle in understanding the OOBE state.  As I said above,
during an OOBE YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS IS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT IT IS
IN THE PHYSICAL WORLD.  Remember, I have defined OOBEs/astral
projections/lucid dreams as a state in which you take your waking
personality into the dream world.  However, in actual fact, during
any OOBE you never take your waking self 100% into the dream world.
Instead you take some PORTION of it into the dream world.  In effect,
when you project you are MIXING YOUR WAKING PERSONALITY WITH YOUR DREAM
PERSONALITY.  And this is why your consciousness is not exactly the same
as it is when you are awake here in this world.  Not only are you
in a realm that is completely foreign to you, but you are never
wholly you over there.  Believe me, this is very true, and it creates
very subtle changes in your reactions, thoughts and emotional responses
to what you experience in the OOBE realm and how you behave there.
     This is all I'm going to say about your state of mind during
an OOBE for now.  As I go more into specific things below, we
will have occasion to see the subtle differences in awareness
that occur during an OOBE.  Right now I am only drawing your
attention to this fact.  After I go into more detail about
other aspects of the OOBE realm, we will at the very end of these
notes come back to this topic.  For after all, aside from actually
learning how to get there, the actual state of your consciousness
during an OOBE is the most important thing there is - for this is
the meat and potatoes of it all: you are experiencing a completely
different state of consciousness!  Think about it.



3.  The OOBE World: Objective or Subjective?

     Now, we have one last consideration before I start describing
what happens during an OOBE.  I've already stated that during an
OOBE your personality is "outside" of you and that subjective
things can be completely real and objective in the OOBE realm.
What this means is we are left with a weird problem when trying
to understand experiences in the OOBE realm.  Basically, is it real
or is it merely subjective fantasy?  Well, we could debate whether
OOBEs are objective or subjective experiences till we are blue
in the face.  It doesn't matter if, in some abstract sense, the
OOBE realm is objective or subjective.  What matters is that when
you astral project, it WILL BE COMPLETELY REAL TO YOU.  Like I said,
it will be YOU, and you will be SOMEWHERE, doing SOMETHING.  Whether
it's all occurring in your imagination or not is beside the point.

     However, what is critically important for you to keep in mind
when you astral project is that YOU CANNOT ASSUME THAT WHAT YOU
EXPERIENCE IS OBJECTIVE AND NEITHER CAN YOU ASSUME IT IS PURELY
SUBJECTIVE.  Whatever the nature of the OOBE experience, you
will be somewhere where the subjective can become objective and the
objective can become subjective.



4.  The Dweller At The Threshold

    The above discussion leads me now to share with you information
that was very important to me when I first started projecting. I
had a book by an author whose name I think was Sepherial. I can't
even remember anymore, it's been so long since I've seen this book,
which I gave to a friend years ago.  At any rate, this book was about
how to become an occultist.  The first important thing Sepherial said
you have to do to become a worthwhile occultist is to overcome fear.
He said that you overcome fear by studying it.  As you learn what
causes you to fear things, you can overcome these fears.  He even
pointed out that if you carefully observe yourself when you get
afraid, you will notice that fear begins as a kind of tighening in
your chest by your heart.  The tightening begins at your heart
and then spreads from there down to your gut and into your arms and
legs.  Frankly, once I started watching myself get afraid, I was
really surprised to see that he was correct.
    Sepherial went on to explain how it's really important to realize
that fear is something we create in our own minds and that if we are
to get involved in occult things, we must learn NOT to fear things
anymore.  You can replace fear with understanding.  When you under-
stand something, you no longer need to fear it. If it is truly a
dangerous thing, but you understand it, you will not fear it, you
will avoid and respect it.  And there are other things we fear that,
in reality, are not dangerous things.  These are the worst kinds
of fear for an occultist to have.  These are fears you have created
in your own mind, for whatever reasons.  These fears are like weeds
that grow in the garden of your mind, and you should eliminate these.
   Well, this was my first lesson in occultism.  I read Sepherial's
book at about the same time I started astral projecting.   I took
Sepherial's advice to heart, and it was a good thing too because my
first few times astral projecting were lessons in overcoming
fear.

   There are two types of fear I have experienced astral projecting.
It is possible that you may experience these types of fear too, so I
will explain them for you.
     The first type of fear is completely harmless.  My very first
astral projections occurred spontaneously about 5 years before I
even realized they were astral projections.  At the time, I thought
they were merely strange dreams.  In retrospect, they were
definitely astral projections.  What had happened is that I had
laid down to nap.  Next thing I knew I was spinning around the
ceiling of my bedroom!  I was amazed.  I didn't have the slightest
idea what was happening to me, and what was even weirder was that
I was completely terrified.  I was scared to death.  But it was a
very strange sensation; I was afraid, but I had no reason to be afraid,
in spite of the fact that I was mysteriously spinning around on
my ceiling!  Mostly I was extremly curious as to what was happening
to me and my experience turned into a contest between my fear
and my curiosity.  Finally, after about 30 seconds of this, my fear
won, and the next thing I knew I was sitting awake in bed. I was
not afraid at all when I woke but I was just very curious.  My second
projection was identical to this and happened around the same
time the first one did (I was about 15 years old when this occurred).
I promptly forgot these experiences till many years later.
    I was 22 years old when I learned about astral projecting.
Eventually it occurred to me that maybe those experiences I had years
before were astral projections. If this was the case, that I had
actually astral projected before, then this meant I could probably do it
again.  And it was then that I consciously started to astral project.
When I first started projecting, I used the trance method I described
above.  Actually, I made up this method as I went along.  Originally,
I would lay in bed and simply tell myself I was going to astral
project as I drifted off to sleep at night.  After a number of
attempts at this, it worked!  I became conscious of myself AFTER
I had fallen asleep!  And, just like years before, I felt that same
feeling of terror, and, as before, there was absolutely no reason
for this feeling.  I got this same feeling of fear on my next two
attempts as well, but on my third attempt, it was gone, and it has
never returned.
     I don't know what this feeling of fear was.  As I said,
it was just there on my first few attempts, then it went away.  I
have a friend who is also a competent astral projector and he said a
similar thing happened to him.   I have always suspected that this
feeling of fear had something to do with separating my consciousness
from my body, as if it was a purely instinctive response of my awareness
to operating without using my physical body.  But once I got used
to the sensation of being out-of-body, the fear response just went away.
Again, I think this may be some type of PURELY HARMLESS instinct
that occurs soley because of dissociating your awareness from its
body.
     It's important to point out that you may never experience this
type of a fear response. In the time I have been on CompuServe, I have
spoken with a number of very good astral projectors and they have never
reported this response. Still, I have had it and so has my friend,
so I am describing it here so that if it happens to you, you will
know what is going on.  If, the first time you leave your body,
you feel complete terror for no reason at all, then you are having
this reaction.  Don't let it bother you because it will go away
after your first few times out-of-body.

    Ok, now for the second type of fear that I have had to deal
with in my astral projections.  Very early in my projection experiences
I went through something I call my "Darkside Episodes".  These were
absolutely terrifying experiences for me too, but unlike those
described above, there WAS a reason for my fear and terror.
Here are excerpts from my DarkSide experiences:

1>

     "All I can remember now is that somehow I left my body, or
became lucid in the dream state, whichever you prefer...
 (I went though a number of experiences, then...)
     ...Somehow that I can't now recall, I was outside my body again.
This time I was standing in my bedroom.  I was surprised because
it seemed to be daytime outside, but I knew it was nighttime and
that I was actually sleeping on my bed.  I noticed that where my
west wall normally was that there was another room beyond it,
like the wall had disappeared and there was this room there
instead.  I floated into the room and could look into my bedroom.
I noticed that I had hands and arms and legs and that I was
floating a foot or so off the ground.  I was moving my body around
just marvelling in the sensation of my lucidity.  I began to feel
elated.  I started to call out and experienced the same thing that
happened the other night.  I could hear my voice in my mind and it
sounded perfectly normal, but when I actually tried to talk, it
came out in slow motion.
     I was really feeling great and had been playing with these things
for a few moments when all of a sudden I began to feel trepid and
a little paranoid.  It felt like I was being watched.  I looked up
into my room and saw a tall dark figure standing in my window.  My
windows were open as if they were doors and this figure was standing
there on the windowsill looking at me.  I didn't know what to think
at first.  The figure was of a male, tall and skinny, and pitch black,
more like a silhouette than anything else. I'd have thought it was a
shadow except it had these vivid evil looking completely red eyes.
It didn't have pupils or anything, just these evil looking eye slits
that were totally red.  At first I thought it couldn't see me, but as
if in response to my thought, it turned and stared directly at me.
Then I became afraid.  I didn't know what I should do.  It slowly
seemed to move towards me, and I made my way back to my bed,
thinking that I should jump back into my body and wake up.  I
hovered over to my bed and this thing was slowly coming at me.
     Then I remembered something from one of the first occult books that
I had ever read [This is the Sepherial book I'm referring to here].
In this book the author gave a magic phrase for the student to say
to protect himself from evil forces.  The author claimed that it
was a very potent spell from the times of ancient Atlantis.  The
spell was in some unknown language and I didn't know what it meant,
but at the time I had memorized it [though I no longer remember
it], and it seemed like now was as good a time as any to use it!
So I repeated the spell in my mind and the wildest things happened.
I was surprised as **** that it worked!  At least it did something,
for now I was laying half way out of my body, the dark figure had
disappeared, and now there was this, what seemed to me to be like
a very fake looking mannequin up over me.  It had the face of a
cartoon alligator and I was biting its arm, but it looked just like
a mannequin and wasn't doing anything.  It had a stupid, goofy look
on its face.
     But  I was panicking, attacking its arm and trying like hell to
wake myself up.  I kept trying to shake myself, thinking that if
I could move my body then I'd wake up.  The strangest thing happened.
As I shook myself, I could feel myself "sink" into my physical body,
and weird as this sounds I could see two distinct visual fields at
once.  They didn't overlap though, one was on top of the other, as
if my visual field were cut in two.  The top one was my visual field
in my projection of my day lit bedroom, and the bottom field was my
dark bedroom at night.  There was even a definite line of demarcation
between the two view fields.  My vision was literally split in
half!  It was the absolutely strangest sensation!  And as I struggled
to shake myself, I could feel myself pull down to the lower view of
my bedroom, and the top view seemed to go up and out of my visual
field.   But then I would relax momentarily and I would start to rise
up, just like when one is under water and starts to float toward the
surface, and I was being pulled back up into the top scene.  Then
I would begin to struggle and shake myself again, and pull back down.
This happened about four times; I would think that I was out of the
top view and begin to relax and quit shaking and rocking myself, and
the moment I would stop, I would feel myself being pulled back into
the top visual field.  I was scared as hell and thought I was
trapped.  Finally though, I shook and shook and shook myself and
I actually woke up.
     I was laying still on my bed.  For all the shaking and moving I was
doing, I thought when I awoke that my body would be moving around as
much.  But it wasn't; it was very still.  I laid there scared as hell.
I had the strangest paranoia that at any moment something evil was
going to jump out of my walls and stab me to death, the same feeling
I felt before.  I didn't know what had just happened to me.  Who the
hell was that dark figure?  For some reason it really spooked me bad."
(END OF ENTRY)

     Well, that was my Darkside experience.  I was very scared after
that.  I was afraid to project even. Was that thing going to always
come and haunt me in my projections? What was it?
     Again, I turned to my friend who could also astral project.
We discussed my experience.  After thinking about it for a week
or so, I came to the conclusion that the Darkside was me!  I
figured that maybe what was happening is that somehow, everything
that was bad about me appeared OUTSIDE OF ME in my projections.
Maybe this thing was just all my own badness embodied as a being
coming to haunt me in the astral projection state.  Whether this
is true or not, this is what I decided to believe.  And since it
was me, then I really didn't have to fear it, because that would
mean I was afraid of myself!  So I decided that what I should do
is become more aware of all my badness and quit being that way,
then, maybe this thing would go away.  And I figured that if I
met this Darkside in my projections again, then I would confront
it instead of being afraid of it.  I would stand up to it, and
battle it if I had to.
    So, that's what I decided.  Here's what happened the next time
I projected:

2>

    "I know I went to sleep with the intent to project.  Since
my "darkside" episode, I was leary to project again, but now I
felt that I understood what this being was and I felt confident
to face it if I needed to.
     (I went though some other adventures, then...)
     I was back in my bedroom again, still lucid in the projection
state.  I noticed that it was daytime outside, though I also knew I
was sleeping in my bed and it was really night on the physical plane.
But then I noticed that there was a doorway in my bedroom wall, one
that was not there physically.  So I went through the door and
began to explore.
     The doorway lead into a castle and I was very surprised by this.
I remember thinking to myself that rooms have all these hidden
directions in them in the astral plane.  It was a huge and elegantly
decorated place and the decor looked fairly modern.  I wandered
about and eventually came to a room that had a window that was
overlooking a long shingled roof.  I climbed through the window
and there was a girl outside on the roof.  It was sunny outside
and I felt very good.  Me and the girl talked, but I do not remember
what we talked about.  I could see around me outside, what
looked like a fairly typical, though completely unfamiliar,
neighborhood and I was curious to explore it.  I went to fly off
the roof but my lockmold began to weaken and I blacked out.
     I was back in my bedroom again, still lucid in the dream state.
The doorway to the castle was still there, but this time there
was a pitch black figure sitting crumpled on the floor at the
end of my bed.  It was the darkside!  I became leary and slightly
scared, but I remembered my resolve to confront it.  Also, this
time it looked feeble, sitting in a heap at the foot of my bed,
almost like a mannequin.  I approached it slowly saying, "What do you
want from me?  Who are you? Are you me? I love you."  My fear was
quickly diminishing as I approached it, but it did not move.  It
seemed dead.  I grabbed it by the head and looked directly into
its face, all the while telling it "I love you."  Its face was
utterly lifeless, its eyes dried out gaping holes.  I clenched
its head and crushed it like a dried out husk, all the while
yelling at it, telling it I loved it.  I crushed its head
completely to dust, knowing that this was only the embodiment
of my inability to look squarely at myself.  This was all my
fear, all my hatred, all my self-hate and I was crushing it to
dust and a great joy filled me.  I kicked the lifeless heap and
felt a triumphant sense run through me.  My darkside was dead!
I became like a little child and ran through the door into the
castle, running about hooting and hollering, excited with the
thrill of my victory.
     I ran back into my bedroom still elated and making much noise.
The crumbled figure was still there and I looked at it with utter
disregard.  "You're dead," I was yelling at it, and I was jumping
up and down yahooing...."

(END OF ENTRY)


     So, that's how that situation worked itself out! Reading this
now, I almost seem neurotic in this projection.  But think of it:
how would you feel?  You learn to project only to have your new found
ability foiled by some pitch black terror?  No way!
     Given the fact that I have never since encountered this
Darkside during a projection, or anything like it, I take it to
mean that I was correct.  This Darkside I encountered in my earliest
projections was all the bad in me coming to haunt me while I was
out-of-body.  THIS is one among a few experiences I have had
that makes me warn you that when you project, things that are
inside you on the physical plane (i.e. subjective things) appear
to be outside of you on the astral plane (i.e. objective things).
     A year after my darkside experience, I was surprised to
read in a Manly Hall book about a thing called "The Dweller
on the Threshold".  Manly Hall described this "Dweller" as the
very first thing waiting on the path to greet the aspiring
occultist.  He essentially described this Dweller to be exactly
what I realized my Darkside to be: all of the badness in ones
personality manifested as a being.   So, basically, I quite
literally met the Dweller on my threshold very shortly after
I learned how to leave my body.  Manly Hall's book was also
a warning to the aspiring occultist that you must overcome fear
and ignorance, and seek self-insight and seek the good inside your
self and weed out the bad.
     Now, the important question of course is: will this happen to
you?  Will you learn to enter the OOBE state only to meet your
"Dweller on the Threshold"?  Well, again, I have spoken with a
number of projectors here on CompuServe who have never had this
experience.   I do not know if you will encounter such an
embodiment of the bad in your personality when you learn to
leave your body.  We all grow and mature in different ways.
It is very easy to realize that not everybody needs to go through
such an experience in the OOBE state.  But will you?  I don't know.
You won't know either until you are out there.  I share this
experience with you just in case it does happen to you.  I share
this so that you will know what that figure is and how to get rid
of it.  It is you, and by opening up to what that figure stands
for you will get rid of it.   Any "Dweller on the Threshold"
is that kind of fear I mentioned above, the kind that is not
caused by real danger but is created in your imagination, for
whatever reason.   Look at that fear, try to understand it, and
you will have conquered your Dweller on the Threshold.
    Again, to drive the point home, there is a very strong
element of self-therapy to the OOBE state, and the above is
a very definite example of this.  Like I said, you must appreciate
that subjective and objective things turn into each other
in the OOBE realm.


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